A Year Later

It’s been a year since my last post. So much has changed! I’ve explored AI art, deeper into spirituality, ancestry, channeling, talking to spirits… From my ego’s point of view, I’ve gone so far away. From my soul’s point of view, I am returning home.

My friend, Annie, who’s like an Oracle to me, suggested I should document my everyday new experiences and knowledge. I thought, “Ok!”

There’s something new everyday. Yesterday, I was parking my car at the usual spot to wait and pick up my kid from school. That spot fit two cars. One SUV already parked there, but it took up most of the space. If the driver just more forward a little more, then the back of my car wouldn’t stick out into someone’s driveway. When I parked her spot, I would get out of my car to see how much more I could move forward to give the second car enough room. I was sitting in my car imagining walking up to the driver to ask her to move forward a bit more, but then I said to myself, “Forget it, it’s ok.” And then I imagined again, “It’s ok to speak up.” “No, forget it,” replied to myself. The more I went back and forth in my head, the more anger was building up in my chest.

The past year was learning how to be ok with being angry. Sounds strange, but I didn’t realize how much negative emotions I suppressed until I learned to let them out. Oof, I could see myself in flame when I’m angry. While getting good at allowing myself to feel those negative emotions, I am still learning how to defuse them.

So here I was in the car battling with myself and thought, “Why can’t people be more considerate? I wouldn’t do that, I’d be worried for the other car not getting enough space! Please help me see." In split second, a calming voice said to me, “No need to be upset, let them be. It is such a big price to pay to become THAT considerate like you. Let them be. Let them be blissfully ignorant.”

My breathing slowed down and I felt compassion.

It’s true, for however long I understood since 3 or 4 years old that I must please in order to receive some attention from my narcissist parent, the pain is not something I would wish on anyone. I’m actually happy to think that someone is blissfully ignorant.

Everyday, my spirit guide and guardian angels are guiding me back home and I’m feeling so much love all around me. May you feel so much love too!